Ask Amy: Family vacation might be riled by new spouse
– Wondering About Wedding
Dear Wondering: When it comes to “tacky,” I take a stance that’s probably more Dolly Parton than Emily Post.
I say, be authentic, be polite, and – if you’re backed into a corner – be truthful!
Issue your invitations. You might call this event: Third Time’s the Charm.
I don’t think it’s necessary to make any reference to previous plans when you invite people.
If prospective guests inquire: “Hey, I thought you didn’t have room for me…!” say, “The pandemic really messed with our plans and some close family members can’t make it overseas this summer, so if you are able to join us on relatively short notice, we’d love it!”
Dear Amy: “Concerned Sister” was trying to prompt her aging sister to make some plans for her future.
Thank you for highlighting the need for families to discuss end-of-life issues with one another.
My mother descended into the ravages of dementia before we had ever discussed these things. In the years I spent caring for her, I often wished I knew what her wishes were. It would have made everything so much easier for me and for other family members who were trying to provide the best care for her.
We were very much in the dark, and I still have regrets about that tough period.
– With Regrets
Dear Regrets: The situation you describe is what journalist Ellen Goodman was struggling with through her own mother’s illness and death, inspiring her to start The Conversation Project (http://theconversationproject.org/), which provides helpful prompts to get families talking.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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