Life Advice



Ask Amy: Hookups lead to friendship, followed by ghosting

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Ghosted: Yes, you should contact him. Ask, perhaps by text: “Could you get back to me, just to let me know if you’re OK? Of course, I miss hearing from you, but at this point I’m just looking for an explanation for why you haven’t been in touch, and I’ve started to worry. I’ll be in town soon, in case you want to meet in person.”

After this effort, yes, I think you need to just let it go.

And … this is not on-topic, but I hope your wife has also been tested for STDs.

Dear Amy: I don't think I've ever seen this subject addressed.

This could be an issue that a straight person or gay person has encountered. (I happen to be gay.)

My ex died suddenly a few years ago from a tear in one of the chambers of his heart. He was 53.


After our split (due to infidelity on his part), we were able to put our acrimony toward each other aside and move on as friends. He even attended my wedding to my current husband.

When he died, I was devastated. The grief was pretty intense.

People around me were acting like… “If you were just friends, then why are you taking this so hard?”

My husband tried to be understanding, but I got the idea that he didn’t really understand. Believe me — at that point I had no romantic interest in my ex.


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