Life Advice



Ask Amy: Boyfriend’s behavior means ‘game over’

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

How can we navigate through this without calling it quits?

I want to make him happy, but I also don't want to do what he's asking me to do. Your advice would be greatly appreciated!

– Underperforming

Dear Underperforming: Couples definitely bargain and negotiate with one another over all sorts of things, including “acts in the bedroom.”

However, this is not a negotiation. This is … game over.

Definitely — a deal-breaker.


I wouldn’t describe your boyfriend’s behavior as “childish,” so much as “deeply troubling,” “manipulative,” “abusive.”

Those are only some words that come to mind. (There are others.)

He is coercing, manipulating, and – I assume — cornering you into doing something you have stated many times that you don’t want to do. This is something you “hate.”

Then, when he is not able to force you to do his “favorite thing,” he punishes you.


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