Ask Amy: Insecure wife blames herself for insecurity
Dear Amy: I have been with my husband for 13 years. I have always been very insecure.
It makes me paranoid when he texts other women, even if it's just friendly.
I check his phone and see that he has deleted texts. This really bothers me, but he says he does it because it bothers me when he texts other women, even when there is nothing bad in the texts. That's true.
I have made a very bad situation in my marriage. My husband is exasperated by my behavior. I don't know how to help my insecurities. They are irrational. I know that but it gets in my head to check his phone.
I did stop checking for a while when I got into a good spot in my head. But recently I did it again. I feel like I am fighting a battle with myself and I don't know how to win. Why do I get this urge? How do I stop it?
And how do I fix the damage I have done to my marriage?
– My Own Worst Enemy
Dear MOWE: You and your husband are in a loop. Marriage counseling would be a great idea for both of you.
However, you take full responsibility, and it seems to me that your husband definitely plays his part.
The common and often suggested solution when there is suspicion in a relationship is for full transparency.