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Ask Amy: Sober spouse doesn’t know when to quit

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am so conflicted about what to do regarding my marriage.

Back in 2010, I quit drinking. My husband promised to quit with me.

Unfortunately, he is still drinking heavily.

I have expressed my need to be with a sober husband. He has promised to stop drinking. He even went to a hospital to detox. This lasted for seven weeks but ultimately failed because he did not participate in a follow-up plan.

The hospital diagnosed him as depressed and alcoholic.

He took his meds for six weeks, and then stopped.

 

He is very hard to live with. He has never hit me, but the verbal abuse gets bad.

I told him that if we are going to stay together, the drinking has to stop. He agreed to this but keeps drinking. He maintained that he could drink once a week, but that hasn’t worked. Now he drinks 200 beers a week.

I started attending counseling for myself.

Today he told me that he doesn’t like how he feels when he’s drinking, but he doesn’t know how to stay sober.

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