Life Advice



Ask Amy: Online celebrations bring on real-life challenges

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: What is the etiquette for Zoom-based celebrations?

I have attended several bridal and baby showers on Zoom that have guest lists of over 100 people, combining family from both sides, co-workers, college friends, neighbors, etc.

At the latest there were six screens of “Gallery View” faces to scroll through, guests were speaking on top of one another, and it was hard to hear what the mother-to-be was saying.

I was later reminded of where the parents-to-be were registered (I had sent an e-gift card, per their request, but now wonder if it made it), and learned that an in-person shower was held following the Zoom celebration.

I appreciate the Zoom option, but are these Zoom-based super-showers just a cash-grab?

In pre-pandemic days, my friend might have had several smaller showers with more opportunity for conversation, and the “ooohs” and “aaahs” as tiny baby items are unwrapped.


I’m becoming resentful of these chaotic digital gatherings. Especially ones that remind me to send an e-gift card!

A friend attended a virtual wedding shower where the hostess mailed out games to each attendee in advance. It had a comfortable feel to it, with roughly 20 guests. That sounds lovely.

Could you offer some digital party etiquette and ideas?

— Curmudgeon in California


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