Ask Amy: Positive Penny meets Negative Nancy
If I send Sandy bad news, she's all over it. She responded to news that our house was broken into. She responded when I told her my laundry room was flooded.
All she likes to hear is bad news. Why is this? How do I deal with a negative Nancy?
— Upbeat
Dear Upbeat: I completely identify with “Sandy.”
She might be less of a Negative Nancy if you were a little less of a Positive Penny.
Have you ever been chronically and seriously ill? Have you ever been depressed? Possibly not.
Your impulse is to always try to raise Sandy’s spirts by being upbeat. But sometimes, when a person’s spirit is low, they don’t want to be jollied out of it. They don’t want someone constantly poking them with positivity.
Sometimes a person who is hurting doesn’t want to be reminded of their relatively messy lot in life.
They want a little understanding. Commiseration. A little, “Grrrrrrr. That sucks!”
So yes, your upbeat messages about the wonderful work you are doing leave her cold, probably because she can’t do these things herself.
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