Ask Amy: Son Zooms in with a zinger
Dear Amy: When my son "Steven," came out (a few years ago), I struggled at first. All I want is for him to be in a happy, secure, fulfilling relationship with someone (of whatever gender).
However, he recently Zoom-introduced us to his new boyfriend, "Adam." Adam is HIV-positive. My son announced this on the Zoom call (I didn't have time to process it), and then became irate when I asked some questions to better understand what that means.
I remember the '80s, and actually had a close friend die from AIDS.
My son claims I'm being ignorant, but I was alive during that time -- he wasn't!
I'm scared of what will happen if they stay together and have children. Will they have to live the rest of their lives in fear that Adam will accidentally infect the children via a small cut? It seems like the relationship is quite serious, and I'm trying to read up on ways to be supportive.
My son is now threatening to cut off contact for a few months if I can't immediately get on board.
I love my son, and Adam seems lovely, too, but I feel anxious about the risk of transmission.
I'm not homophobic. I just need some processing time without the threat of "I'm going to cut you off if you can't understand that love is love" constantly hanging over my head.
Am I being unreasonable?
-- Mom
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