Ask Amy: Man needs friendship, and a dose of Paul Rudd
You don't seem to have a problem meeting other people, but, like the Paul Rudd character in "I Love You, Man," you want to develop the tools to close the friendship deal. This doesn't mean you're currently doing anything wrong ... you're simply behaving the way you know. Challenges with emotional intimacy likely go back to the male role models in your early life.
Inspired by a line in the movie: "There are no rules for male friendships," I've been reading the book, "Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship," by Robert Garfield. (2016, Avery). I recommend it for you. The author, a psychologist, conducts men's support groups. Like the men Garfield writes about, you will have to be brave enough to alter your perspective, and also behave differently.
Emotional intimacy can be learned, and once you are more open and available, you will experience hits and misses -- just like dating. And -- just like with dating -- the personal rewards and sense of fulfillment can be life-changing.
Dear Amy: I've been in my wife's family for over 10 years and have always had a "crush" on my sister-in-law.
She has always been there in tough times to help me out whenever I ran into a bump in the road with her sister (my wife).
Fast-forward and now my wife's sister is separated and we have had a couple outings out together and I completely enjoyed myself.
My sister-in-law's company was what I imagined the whole time.
Now I feel guilty that I enjoy spending time with her.
Please help!
-- Love In-Law
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