Life Advice



Ghosted girlfriend is trapped with ex at a wedding

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I went out with a guy for two months last year. We met through mutual friends. Now the friends who introduced us are getting married, and I'm going to have to be around him again for the entire week of their small (fewer than 20 guests) destination wedding.


"Sam" and I never made anything official, but we were seeing each other exclusively. Then he suddenly cut contact and basically ghosted me. After six weeks of this, he eventually came to my house and we were able to talk.

This mostly made things more confusing. He said we should just be friends. Then he kissed me passionately. The rest of the conversation was the most convoluted and perplexing thing I've ever been party to.

He said, "I'm just not SURE about you, but if YOU want, you can be my girlfriend."

Um, no thanks. But I did agree to be friends.


A few weeks into this "friendship" he started flirting with me again, and I called it off. I just didn't see the point in pretending I was OK with how things ended.

I wrote him a letter explaining that although I valued the time we had together, I thought it was best for us to part ways completely. The letter was overall very respectful -- much more than he deserved -- and ultimately served as a goodbye.

Knowing that I'll see him again, all I want is for him to explain himself. I still just want to know what really happened. I want to corner him and just be like, "What the hell?"

How do I make peace with the fact that I'll never know what happened, even when I'm sharing a rental with him and all of our friends?


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