Adult kids' fights always involve the folks
Dear Amy: Help! I have three adult children, including two who are doctors.
The last two gatherings turned ugly when my son got into an argument with my daughter. He can't let small things go and he tends to overanalyze anyone's behavior (he is a psychologist). He always believes the other person is wrong and he is right.
We cannot diffuse this, and it carries over to the next day via text messages. My husband and I are caught in the middle.
I am at my wits' end and need to resolve the latest argument.
The argument before this one lasted for four months.
This is so hurtful, and I am losing sleep. HELP!
-- Upset Mom
Dear Mom: You do NOT need to resolve the latest argument.
From your description, your son seems to be a dominating bully. How did he get this way? Perhaps there are clues embedded in the way you have parented him, tolerated him, and even enabled him. It's something to think about, and -- if appropriate -- to own.
I suspect that your own engagement, worry and anxiety over his behavior and the sibling relationship keep you a passive and fretful witness. Take back your own power.
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