ArcaMax

Dear Amy: My 24-year-old daughter is expecting a baby boy.

She told me that she plans to use her biological dad's name as her baby's middle name.

Her dad, "Tobias," and I divorced when she was six and her brother was four. At the time, the literature advised divorced parents to never say anything unkind about one's ex. Thus, I did ...Read more

Dear Amy: How should I react to some of the baffling requests for gifts and money when invited to wedding showers, weddings, and baby showers?

I just received an invitation for my niece's baby shower (my sister is her mom).

Request number one was for a book instead of a card. OK, fine, but she is asking people to give this, along with...Read more

Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for five years. Each of us has brought up the topic of having an open marriage at one time or another.

There is nothing wrong or missing in our marriage and our intimate life is incredible.

I am wondering – is this a healthy curiosity on our parts, or are we just asking for trouble?

– Confused

...Read more

Dear Amy: I’m a sophomore in college. My girlfriend and I met on campus at the beginning of the school year and have been together for six months (we’re both women).

We’re making plans for this summer – we’re both looking into working at a beach resort near our college.

Every summer I go to a reunion at my summer camp. This is a camp...Read more

Dear Amy: My wife is an avid runner and usually runs on the weekends with a group of regulars.

Recently a man entered the group, and he seems to be reaching out to her a lot. This started with questions about running, but seems to have morphed into other areas. He always initiates texts, and she responds politely by answering his questions.

...Read more

Dear Amy: I've been married for 30 years, I believed happily.

My wife was never demonstrative emotionally, but I believed that we loved each other.

Three years ago, she told me that she was no longer interested in sex, and didn't see that changing. This was a surprise to me, but the one rule of our sex life that she always insisted on was that...Read more

Dear Amy: I attended a professional conference recently.

The attendees from my company were the president, the executive director, a co-worker, and myself.

The president and executive director invited my co-worker and myself out for dinner.

During these large conventions, it is rare to be able to sit down for more than 20 minutes and have a ...Read more

Dear Amy: I’m a widower, and my significant other, “Siena,” is a widow.

Long ago, we dated in college (semi-seriously) for a couple years, but “life” got in the way and we drifted apart.

We married other people. Both of our spouses are deceased.

Decades later, we are now in a wonderful relationship.

Last year I brought Siena to my ...Read more

Dear Amy: I have two friends I’ve been extremely close to over the past 10-15 years.

These two friends don’t know each other, but they each have been an important part of my life – but are not my only close friends.

Based on comments made over the years, I’ve suspected that these two people were racists, but only recently have they ...Read more

Dear Readers: I value hearing back from people who have had their questions published in this space. Like you, I am curious about how people dealt with their dilemmas, and I wonder whether my advice was useful.

I’m happy to publish this “update” from a reader whose original question was published in June 2012.

The original Q&A is below, ...Read more

Dear Amy: I have a 49-year-old daughter who is an elementary school teacher. She became an alcoholic during Covid. She has a master’s degree, a beautiful home, and a partner of nine years.

She will lose it all, due to her drinking.

She won't go to AA, and I have suggested inpatient rehab – to no avail.

It is breaking my heart.

Her father...Read more

Dear Amy: Recently I received a Facebook friend request from “Frank,” a man I had an affair with 20 years ago.

This was more than an affair because Frank and I were best friends. We talked about everything!

I would have left my then-boyfriend for him back then, as that relationship was going south fast.

Frank and I both ended up with ...Read more

Dear Amy: I have a lot of hesitation about a visit by my brother and sister-in-law this summer.

They live out of state and last visited us two years ago. That visit did not go well.

My brother made a lot of negative comments about my family and our lifestyles, including how we live and where we live.

During our communication through phone ...Read more

Dear Amy: ‘Tis the season for wedding advice, I guess.

My partner and I are planning a very small affair on a low budget.

We recently recruited my future mother-in-law to help with last-minute planning (we were doing it all ourselves).

The caterer is delivering dinner to our venue in the form of buffet-style trays.

My plan was to have ...Read more

Dear Amy: I retired from a very stressful job three years ago. I usually worked 50 to 60 hours a week.

My wife was able to quit work about 25 years ago, staying home to finish raising our son.

She is amazing, and though we have been able to afford outside help, she took care of the house and cooked most of our meals. We shared yard work about ...Read more

Dear Amy: I love your column and how you relate your own experience in your answers.

My question is one I have not seen particularly addressed.

I am a 58-year-old gay man and have identified as bi for most of my adulthood.

I have had significant relationships with both women and men.

After my last relationship, more than 15 years ago, I ...Read more

Dear Amy: My good college friend “Clara” is getting married next month.

Clara has several bridesmaids. We are all quite close.

“Sara,” another bridesmaid, has an older sister “Anne” and a younger brother, “Brett.”

In our college days, Clara, Sara, and I would socialize occasionally with Anne. We consider her a friend.

Brett ...Read more

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We both have adult children from previous marriages.

My husband isn’t as close with his children as I am with mine. My children and I have always spent a lot of time together and we connect through text or phone calls almost daily.

My husband believes this is excessive. He doesn’t ...Read more

Dear Amy: “Liz” and I worked together for a short time nearly 20 years ago. She was excellent at her work and was an officer in a national organization in our field.

We have not seen one another in years. We’ve spoken on the phone one time in the last six years.

A decade ago, I spoke with an old colleague and recommended her to work at a...Read more

Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to ...Read more