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Q: I set a lot of goals for last year -- but I only managed to reach a couple of them. I'm really discouraged. Do you have any tips for motivation to keep going?

Jim: I'll offer a phrase to keep in mind when life gets tough -- just get to the next tree.

There's a military training school in Vermont that puts soldiers through incredibly difficult physical and emotional tests. The challenge with the highest dropout rate is a rigorous hike up a snow-packed mountain with an especially heavy ruck sack on their backs. The troops aren't given any special equipment. Their only tool for success is determination.

As the soldiers trudge up the hill through knee-deep snow, some of them find the struggle to be too much within just a hundred yards. That's when the instructor tells his men, "If you want to fail, focus on the top of the mountain. If you want to succeed, just get to the next tree. Then the next one. Do that again and again ... until you reach the top of the mountain."

You reach a big goal by pursuing one small goal at a time. You write a book one word at a time. You stay sober one day at a time. You restore your marriage one counseling session at a time. Some days "the next tree" may be getting through this day, this hour, even this prayer, with hope.

When you're struggling, things often seem so tough you feel like you're standing at the bottom of a mountain and staring at the very top. The climb might even seem impossible. But you can make it to the top. Just get to that next tree.

We have plenty of tips and resources to help -- including trained professional counselors who can come alongside you if need be -- at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: As a new father I want to learn how to have good conversations with my kids as they grow up. Can you help?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Conversation is an important part of a family's daily rhythm. But it requires intentionality and takes practice. Here are some tips for interacting with kids at various ages:

-- Children 3 years old and under. This is a great season of life to connect, read and play together. Reading to your young kids is incredibly beneficial to their brain and language development. You can also establish the nonverbal interaction that will be essential in years to come. Take time to describe experiences, senses (touch, smell, sound, taste and sight) and emotions.

-- Children 4 to 8 years old. Conversation in this stage helps kids develop and practice the character traits of humility, self-control and empathy. Use reflective questioning (e.g., "What I hear you saying is ...") to help them know that they are being heard and whether they need to clarify something. As they learn about themselves, they'll recognize that others have similar experiences and the same desire to be understood.

-- Children 9 to 12 years old. Preteens are learning to manage thoughts that are influenced by their emotions (and hormones). They want to feel heard and known, even if they don't know why they feel the way they do. Listening is critical; if you're distracted, ask to take a quick break and resume in a few minutes when you can offer greater attention. Prioritize taking turns talking and listening to each other. This provides the safety to connect, which will influence conversations in the teen years.

In your conversations with your kids, make sure you're attentive, that you validate them, that you actively listen rather than immediately fix, and that you allow for turn-taking and for curiosity to unfold.

For more parenting tips, visit FocusOnParenting.com.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.