When New Year's Resolutions Fall Short
Q: Every December I set goals for new things I want to accomplish in the next year. But even when I've managed to follow through and achieve those things I still feel unfulfilled. Isn't life all about seeking and finding new experiences? What am I missing?
Jim: One of the most common traditions at New Year's parties all over the world is to celebrate midnight by breaking into a rendition of the classic song "Auld Lang Syne." It's a perfect tune to ring in the new year -- if you know what the words mean and truly take them to heart.
"Auld Lang Syne" is usually sung out of tradition, much like the "Happy Birthday" jingle at a party. But very few of us understand its meaning. For example: "Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?" Those words actually call us to meaningful relationship in the new year.
The Scottish words "auld lang syne" literally mean "days of old." So, translated, the song is asking: "Should old acquaintances be forgotten from days of long ago?" In other words, this simple song calls us to not forget -- and not neglect -- the important relationships that already define our lives as we move into the new year.
That's a great reminder. New Year's resolutions usually involve professional goals or diet plans. But we should also consider how we can deepen our current relationships and/or reconnect where there's been strain in the past. True connection and fulfillment come from having relationships with deep roots. Wherever we go and whatever we do, we're more apt to succeed when we have strong bonds with people we know well and love.
So, when the clock strikes midnight on January 1, sing those words from your heart -- and let them move you closer toward the important people who are already in your life.
Q: Hey, Greg -- I'm a Simple Dude. I need one simple idea that will help us strengthen our marriage this coming year. What do you say?
Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: There are any number of things I could suggest, like praying together. But I think I'll go with this one: Laugh together.
Research shows that couples who laugh together are happier, healthier and more connected. Even little giggles between you and your spouse create relational bonds that draw you closer together. That's because laughter is a powerful connecter.
In fact, laughter is only partially about humor; it's mostly about connection. Studies show that we laugh far more when we're with someone than when we're alone.
My wife, Erin, and I have proven that to be true. Those who know us can attest that many of our greatest memories involve us laughing together. Occasionally -- OK, frequently -- it's been tough to stop. We've laughed so hard, for so long, that we started laughing at each other's laughing.
So, Simple Dude, there you have it: laugh. And the more, the better. A friend of mine, author Ted Cunningham, challenges couples to strive for a laughter-to-conflict ratio of 100 to 1. Admittedly, that sounds like a lot -- and it is! But it's the heart behind the numbers that counts. The important thing is that you want your marriage to have as many points of connection as possible. And laughter is an excellent one.
By the way, relax -- you don't have to be comedian to fill your marriage with laughter. The point is about finding simple humor in everyday life. You can also jump-start the chuckles by reminiscing about hilarious memories from, say, your dating days. It's about enjoying life as much as possible -- together -- with smiles on your faces.
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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)
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