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Q: My daughter is 12 years old. Looking back on my own teen years, I had a really rough time emotionally. As her mom, what can I do to help her through what I expect to be a challenging season in her life?

Jim: I'll highlight that I'm a dad who raised two boys -- but I understand. Our staff counselors emphasize the immense importance of a mother's influence to a teenage daughter. Mom is a role model, and usually the parent a teen girl will feel most comfortable going to for advice. But probably the most important thing you can do for your girl is to be a good listener.

One of the first steps is to be available to her as much as possible. We all know that a teenager's emotions can be ... unpredictable. Your daughter may not always want to talk when it's most convenient for you, so it's best to take advantage of her willingness to talk while she's in the mood. She might open up in the morning or maybe later at night. Most of the time moms can take a few minutes from whatever they're doing, make eye contact and just listen.

Equally as important is letting her say what's on her mind without interruption. She may want to talk about a bad day at school or trouble with friends. Whatever it is, don't finish her sentences or try to talk her out of what she's feeling, even if it doesn't make sense to you. That will make her shut down emotionally ... and she might not be so quick to open up the next time she needs to talk.

Naturally, you'll likely want to offer your daughter some advice at times. That's good and appropriate. But be sure to listen to her first. In most cases, even more than advice, she needs to be heard.

If you do encounter a situation that just seems too much for either of you to handle, our staff counselors are available to offer encouragement, insights and resources; see the information listed below.

Q: Ever since I was a teen I've had a problem with a cycle of starving, binging and purging. Thoughts of food rarely leave my mind and I'm fixated on my body weight. I feel guilty, dirty and ashamed. How can I change?

Jim: My heart aches for you. There's really no way I (or anyone else) can even scratch the surface of this issue in a limited venue like this column. But I do want you to experience something that may seem far away right now: hope.

There's a reason you've found it so hard to break this pattern. The starve-binge cycle is a bio-psycho-social-spiritual disorder that actually changes body chemistry. It does this by interfering with normal serotonin and endorphin levels. Under these circumstances, change can be difficult and slow -- but it's not impossible. The key is that you need caring people to walk with you on this journey. Do NOT try to go it alone.

It's also important to remember that there's generally a strong spiritual component to most eating disorders. So, with all of that in mind, I would strongly recommend that you contact one of our staff counselors for a free over-the-phone consultation. They will be happy to discuss your situation and supply you with a list of referrals to qualified therapists in your area. Call 855-771-HELP (4357) or see FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Meanwhile, on the physical level, moderate exercise can be an important part of the reversal process. Dr. Archibald Hart's excellent book "The Anxiety Cure" suggests a number of lifestyle alterations that can help get you moving in the right direction. I wish you the best.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2026 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.