Bridesmaid would love to be The Enforcer

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Apr 3, 2024

You and one of the groom’s ushers should volunteer to be on the lookout for this uninvited guest, and quietly escort him out if he shows up.

Dear Amy: Lately you've published several letters from women who are in long-term marriages but are so unhappy that they are considering leaving the marriage.

I was 70 years old and in a 48-year marriage when my husband and I separated. At my insistence, we were seeing a couples counselor. When it became apparent that my husband wasn't interested in saving the marriage, we separated. We had been married for more than 52 years when we finally divorced in 2019.

I stayed in that marriage because I was scared that I couldn't make it on my own financially, but I did. I've learned so much since the divorce and I don't regret my decision for one second.

This isn't the solution for everyone, and I'm not advocating for separation or divorce, but I'd like to encourage any woman who is miserable in her marriage to seek a way to make it better. If that doesn't work, remember that you may be stronger than you think.

– Been There

Dear Been There: You are part of a growing trend known as “gray divorce.”

There are many serious consequences to divorcing at your age, but I agree that most of us are stronger than we think.

Dear Amy: “Hanging Up” was a crotchety old coot who felt his stepdaughter’s frequent video calls were intrusive. You agreed with him! Your advice was terrible. He obviously feels no connection with this family.

– Upset

Dear Upset: I made several suggestions for how the elder couple could help the distant daughter through her loneliness, including the idea that he should initiate some calls to her.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)