ArcaMax

Allowing Brett to help himself and a plus one to the wedding is out of the question.

My question is, who is responsible for telling him off? Clara, as she is the one in charge of the guest list? Sara, who has already talked to her brother, but probably doesn't know that he went so far as to RSVP?

Me, because of the three of us, I have the least issue with confrontation?

Please weigh in! I need to know the most appropriate way to tell off this wedding crasher.

– The Enforcer?

Dear Enforcer: Finalizing the guest list is the bride’s job. Policing her younger brother is “Sara’s” job. Enforcing might be your job, and I’ll do the rest.

I think the best way to approach this would be to react as if “Brett” is trolling, and has appointed himself the Vince Vaughn character in this particular movie.

The bride should review the online RSVP list, and if “Anne” has responded No but RSVP’d “yes” online, she should confirm with Anne that she will not be at the wedding and ask her if it’s possible that her brother has filled out her RSVP.

If she confirms that Brett has done this, the bride should let Sara know (Sara is Brett’s other sister, who is also a bridesmaid), and confirm that Brett has not been invited to the wedding.

You might be helpful by assisting the bride in composing a simple message to Brett that is straightforward, polite, and firm. I suggest something along the lines of: “Hi, Brett, I understand that you have invited yourself and a guest to my wedding! I assume you’re just trying to prank us (haha!), but if you’re serious about this I need to remind you that any uninvited people will be asked to leave before the ceremony.”

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