Ask Amy: Daughter resists driving Mom to church
Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to church before brunch.”
Even though I don't disagree with the church’s teachings, I just don't want to go.
My mother essentially would not take no for an answer.
I felt so pressured that finally I lied and said I had a meeting early that afternoon.
I feel manipulated. I would likely have accepted her request with a kinder attitude if she didn't have a history of doing this.
The incident that stays in my mind is when my husband and I invited her out to dinner for her birthday. We were planning to make the four-hour trip to take her out.
The day before, I found out from someone else that she had, behind my back, invited my estranged sister and her husband. We ended up staying home.
Now I can't seem to get past the idea of her tricking and manipulating me.
I'm probably angrier than I need to be. I also have a sense of guilt about the whole thing.
Do you have any advice? Should I cave in and take her to church? If I'm being hard-hearted, please tell me.
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