Life Advice



Ask Amy: Baby on board inspired family to descend

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My fiancé and I are expecting our first child next month. During a visit three months ago, his mother declared that she would be present for the birth. At that point we hadn't even discussed the baby’s delivery, let alone visitors at home or at the hospital.

We agreed to this, but now I'm resentful of her declaration and also stressed over the idea of his large family being with us during those early days.

I don't like to be crowded when I'm stressed, and he has a large and tight-knit family.

I know they want to welcome our daughter into the world and to help out, but I'm not looking forward to it.

I want to breastfeed in private and bond with my new family without people breathing down my neck.

I thought I could compromise by stipulating that adults are welcome, but the young children are not.


I told this to an older friend, who said I was being selfish to exclude the children and that they would resent this for years to come.

Am I being selfish? I know there's a whole “no visitors” movement by moms putting their foot down because of the stress family can add after bringing a new baby home. I'm here for it.

I'd appreciate your insight.

– Expecting in AZ


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