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Ask Amy: Wife braces herself for husband’s adultery

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I married a lovely man two years ago. We lived together for three years before marrying.

We met as his first, long-term marriage was falling apart. We are both 70 years old. We spend most of our time together, but my husband has always kept most of the other parts of his life a bit removed from our marriage. He insists that he is faithful.

In doing our tax prep, I found that four “visits to his dentist” are nonexistent, according to the insurance company.

I believe he has lied about where he has been on those days when he claimed to have been at the dentist.

We have, ad nauseam, discussed being faithful.

I have tried to trust him, despite knowing that he cheated on his wife.

 

How do I deal with this situation?

Do I let this go, do I hire a private investigator, or should I just leave him knowing that secretive behavior is going to ruin my emotional well-being?

– Sad Wife

Dear Sad Wife: You don’t mention other examples of behavior you believe is “removed from your marriage,” and so I wonder why you leap so readily to unfaithfulness as the root cause – unless, of course, you were your husband’s affair partner when he was unfaithful to his first wife.

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