Engaged couple wants to exclude family from wedding
Dear Amy: I have recently gotten engaged.
Growing up, my narcissistic mother physically and emotionally abused me. I was held to a much higher standard than my younger sister.
This led me to take out my frustrations on my sister -- verbally, and also through manipulation.
I didn't speak much to my family as a teenager, left the house for college, and never went back.
I have not spoken to my sister in years. At family functions she literally pretends as though I am physically not there (e.g. she won't set a place for me at the table).
As an adult I sought therapy, and have forgiven my mother (despite her lack of insight or admission of wrong-doing). I have also sincerely apologized to my sister. She refuses to accept my apology.
I do not wish for her to be part of my wedding, as she has not been part of my life for years, nor does she know me or my fiancé.
I know that my mother will not be pleased about excluding my sister, and will likely give me an ultimatum, as she often does.
A wedding is a time for love, and if she attends, I know I will feel that it is strictly due to an obligation and expectation.
It is going to be a small, intimate wedding. Should I invite my sister to please my mother? Will I regret not inviting her in the future?