Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Engaged couple wants to exclude family from wedding

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

-- Sister Trouble

Dear Trouble: I don't know what you will regret in the future. Your dysfunctional family and your own (admitted) abusive behavior toward your sister has presented you with plenty of opportunities for regret.

Yes, weddings are about love. They are about the couple. Weddings are also about building a family. These celebrations offer opportunities for inclusion and can mark a fresh start to a relationship.

However, you should not invite your sister to your wedding if you don't want to have -- or try to build -- a relationship with her. Given what you say about her refusal to acknowledge you, it seems doubtful that she would attend your wedding, even if she were invited.

The red flag I detect here involves your mother. Narcissists are manipulators and punishers. You don't mention what ultimatum your mother might lay down regarding your wedding, but -- whatever it is -- I strongly suggest that you and your fiancé should not cave to her demands. Doing so is a guaranteed regret.

Dear Amy: I have a strange question.

 

I'm wondering if my husband and I should tell his mother (my MIL) that we are expecting a child.

The reason we hesitate is because she has stated, repeatedly and emphatically, that if we have a baby she will not be enthusiastic about it, and that we cannot count on her to host a shower, be involved, or do any babysitting.

We are excited about the pregnancy, but -- hello -- we get it that she doesn't want to be a grandmother!

-- Excited and Expectant

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