Life Advice



Engaged couple wants to exclude family from wedding

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Excited: You should do whatever you want to do.

What I mean is -- you have all of the information you need to have about your mother-in-law. Hello? You get it!

Beyond that, you should not let her control you to the extent that you are deliberately withholding news that you want to share.

If you don't disclose this pregnancy and she learns about it from someone else, you will most likely be punished for that.

If you do disclose the pregnancy to her, you can accurately anticipate her reaction.

But this is not her life. It is yours! If she doesn't want to assume any grandparent roles, or if she wants her role to be very limited, then, hey, it's her loss.

I offer one caveat: Pregnancy lasts for a long time. I know of refuseniks or reluctant grandparents who have completely turned the corner and embraced the grandchild with lots of love once it arrives. This might not be probable, but it is possible.


You will soon discover the magical and transforming affect that babies can have on people. Lucky you -- and congratulations.

Dear Amy: Like "Sleeping Alone," my wife and I struggled with having different nighttime schedules and going to bed at different times. It really affected our intimacy.

We solved this by always going to bed together. Then, after she is asleep, I am sometimes awake for a couple of more hours. I work, read or watch a movie.

-- Fellow Night Owl

Dear Night Owl: I do the same.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)




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