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Ask Amy: An update reveals no ‘deviants’ in the house

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Readers: I value hearing back from people who have had their questions published in this space. Like you, I am curious about how people dealt with their dilemmas, and I wonder whether my advice was useful.

I’m happy to publish this “update” from a reader whose original question was published in June 2012.

The original Q&A is below, ...Read more

Ask Amy: Mother frets about daughter’s alcoholism

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I have a 49-year-old daughter who is an elementary school teacher. She became an alcoholic during Covid. She has a master’s degree, a beautiful home, and a partner of nine years.

She will lose it all, due to her drinking.

She won't go to AA, and I have suggested inpatient rehab – to no avail.

It is breaking my heart.

Her father...Read more

Ask Amy: Facebook enables another hookup

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: Recently I received a Facebook friend request from “Frank,” a man I had an affair with 20 years ago.

This was more than an affair because Frank and I were best friends. We talked about everything!

I would have left my then-boyfriend for him back then, as that relationship was going south fast.

Frank and I both ended up with ...Read more

Ask Amy: Future family visit fuels some fears

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I have a lot of hesitation about a visit by my brother and sister-in-law this summer.

They live out of state and last visited us two years ago. That visit did not go well.

My brother made a lot of negative comments about my family and our lifestyles, including how we live and where we live.

During our communication through phone ...Read more

Ask Amy: Marrying couple seeks serving help

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: ‘Tis the season for wedding advice, I guess.

My partner and I are planning a very small affair on a low budget.

We recently recruited my future mother-in-law to help with last-minute planning (we were doing it all ourselves).

The caterer is delivering dinner to our venue in the form of buffet-style trays.

My plan was to have ...Read more

Ask Amy: Retired man wants to smell, not plant, the roses

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I retired from a very stressful job three years ago. I usually worked 50 to 60 hours a week.

My wife was able to quit work about 25 years ago, staying home to finish raising our son.

She is amazing, and though we have been able to afford outside help, she took care of the house and cooked most of our meals. We shared yard work about ...Read more

Ask Amy: Single man wants relatable advice

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I love your column and how you relate your own experience in your answers.

My question is one I have not seen particularly addressed.

I am a 58-year-old gay man and have identified as bi for most of my adulthood.

I have had significant relationships with both women and men.

After my last relationship, more than 15 years ago, I ...Read more

Bridesmaid would love to be The Enforcer

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My good college friend “Clara” is getting married next month.

Clara has several bridesmaids. We are all quite close.

“Sara,” another bridesmaid, has an older sister “Anne” and a younger brother, “Brett.”

In our college days, Clara, Sara, and I would socialize occasionally with Anne. We consider her a friend.

Brett ...Read more

Ask Amy: Husband thinks his wife is too close to her kids

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We both have adult children from previous marriages.

My husband isn’t as close with his children as I am with mine. My children and I have always spent a lot of time together and we connect through text or phone calls almost daily.

My husband believes this is excessive. He doesn’t ...Read more

Ask Amy: Job shopper asks for frequent references

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: “Liz” and I worked together for a short time nearly 20 years ago. She was excellent at her work and was an officer in a national organization in our field.

We have not seen one another in years. We’ve spoken on the phone one time in the last six years.

A decade ago, I spoke with an old colleague and recommended her to work at a...Read more

Ask Amy: Daughter resists driving Mom to church

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to ...Read more

Ask Amy: Daughter resists driving Mom to church

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to ...Read more

Ask Amy: Maid of honor rethinks the 'honor'

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I am the “maid of honor” for my best friend’s wedding, which is happening this summer.

It’s a big job and I have done my very best to step up in all of the expected ways. Like other people who have faced this demanding role, it can strain a friendship – but my friendship with “Chloe” (the bride) has survived just fine.

...Read more

Ask Amy: Sharing in-law unit causes problems

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: We are having an issue with our daughter and son-in-law regarding the use of a guesthouse. They live a day’s drive from us, so when we visit we like to stay for several days. We try to visit at least monthly.

We decided to find a home that had a mother-in-law unit separate from the main house.

We helped (substantially) in the ...Read more

Ask Amy: Adults’ anger leads to children’s tears

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My two sons are not speaking to one another, after a fight that occurred during Christmas two years ago.

The result is that my granddaughters don’t like their uncle and aunt. The three girls are 11, 9, and 6.

While sleeping overnight at my house last weekend, I told my granddaughters that I love both of my sons equally. They ...Read more

Ask Amy: Young son worries about growing up

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My husband and I have a very sweet 8-year-old son. His dad and I adore him. We’re having a great time going through life together.

Recently he has been emotional and sensitive. He has said several times that he doesn’t want to grow up. When I ask him why, he says he’ll miss all of the things we do together, like reading together...Read more

Ask Amy: Childfree man doesn’t love the ball pit

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I have a recurring issue when going out with my girlfriend's brother.

Every time we plan to go out with him and his wife, the outings revolve around their children.

As a happily childfree man in his 40s, I have no desire to spend my Saturday watching kids play in a crowded play space.

I have suggested activities that are child-...Read more

Ask Amy: Son’s apology demand creates distance

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: Several years ago, my father and his wife visited me for a week.

I spared no expense trying to ensure that they enjoyed themselves, particularly his wife. (She married him after I was grown. My own mother died when I was five.)

The week was full of shopping, casino time, outdoor activities, and sightseeing.

I thought it went great. ...Read more

Ask Amy: Newcomer needs to find a ‘third place’

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I moved to a semi-rural area for a public-facing job.

One way I am trying to meet people is by hosting small dinner gatherings where I invite a group of people whom I think might make for interesting conversation. These people may or may not already know each other.

This almost never works out. I've had people ask if I will invite ...Read more

 

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