If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of 100 people, with everything else remaining the same, it would look like this:
There would be:
* 57 Asians
* 21 Europeans
* 14 from the Western Hemisphere,
* 8 Africans,
* 52 would be female
* 48 would be male
* 70 would be ...Read more
An older couple was lying in bed one night...
The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, then tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly ...Read more
Many people are unaware that Frank Sinatra was an ecologist.
Once, he found out that the herds of animals in Africa were being forced off their native lands into game reserves where they were more apt to be eaten by their natural enemies due to the crowded conditions.
These animals would congregate around lakes and other bodies of water, but ...Read more
- We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
- This is not an abandoned vehicle.
- I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
- It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
- Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
- Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
- My wife ...Read more
A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway. While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window, "Yes?"
"Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?"
"No I haven't"
The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window: "Yes?"
"Ever ...Read more
Ronda Rousey is a warrior in the ring who defeats her opponents and now she uses her skills to destroy America's enemies.
James asks all-time movie villain Peter Stormare about his rise to fame in Hollywood and learns a shift in casting movie bad guys opened up a lane for him to unleash his Russian accent, which is like his Hungarian accent, which is like his Estonian accent, which is like his German accent.
And there was another huge revelation from Omarosa this weekend: She said the Trump administration was “deceiving this nation” by hiding how mentally declined President Trump actually is. Oh, come on. We see his tweets. He’s not fooling anyone.
According to Politico, White House aides need to remind President Trump of time zones in different countries on a constant basis. He forgets that in America it’s 4 p.m., but where he is, it’s 1957.
But before all this got out, Trump’s campaign tried to keep Omarosa quiet by offering her $180,000 in hush money. When Stormy Daniels heard that, she was like, “Oh, my God. What did she have to do for the extra $50,000?”
Omarosa spent 15 years learning Trump’s tactics and now she’s using them against him.
The big story is, of course, Omarosa. She’s been promoting her new book, “Unhinged.” It’s about her time in the White House. She claims President Trump has mentally declined. Trump was furious. He said, “This book is an outrage. And — wait, what were we talking about?”
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here.
No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make ...Read more
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?"
He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother ...Read more
Two blondes were building a house. one saw that the other was going into her pouch and throwing every other nail out. She thought that this was weird and decided to look into.
"Why do you keep throwing every other nail away?"
"Well, when i pull one out of my pouch, and it is facing towards the house, i nail it it. If it is facing away from...Read more
1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
2. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
3. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
4. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
5. You make the beds, you do the dishes and six ...Read more
...You've ever used a bathtub as a punch bowl.
...You broke a toe when you dropped your belt buckle on it.
...You've ever worn flip-flops to a funeral home.
...You have visitation rights to a dog.
...You continue to show your cleavage years after anyone wants to see it.
...You can't remember where your lawn mower is.
...You've ever ...Read more
Ryan Reynolds and Jimmy take turns dropping discs into random cups filled with things like "blood," bacon, egg and cheese, and bone broth, then drinking a cocktail made out of the combined ingredients in this Plinko-like game.
Seth takes a closer look at Trump's staffing decisions coming back to haunt him as his lawyers fumble their response to the Russia probe and his White House feuds with Omarosa.
A man in Florida was recently arrested after running into a liquor store with an alligator and chasing people who were shopping there. I'm just going to say it: This emotional support animal thing has officially gone too far.