Science has a language of its own which sometimes puzzles laymen. The word "obvious" is a case in point.
A professor of physics, deriving some profound point of theory for the class, scribbled an equation on the board and said, "From this, it is obvious that we can proceed to write the following relationship..." and he scribbled a second and ...Read more
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him.
The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the...Read more
The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men. What happens is when you stop for a red light a young, pretty nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield.
While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.
They are very good at this!
They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times ...Read more
1. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.
2. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that ...Read more
As the government shutdown hits Day 24, The New York Times drops a shocking report on an FBI investigation into Trump’s Russia relations, and the first 2020 Democratic presidential candidates enter the field.
With MacKenzie Bezos back on the market and worth $69 billion, Stephen has no choice but to shoot his shot.
It came out that back in 2017, the F.B.I. started investigating whether Trump was secretly working for Russia. When asked if Trump ever worked for him, Vladimir Putin said, [impersonating Putin] ‘No, he’s more like unpaid intern.’
President Trump told reporters today that he has never worked for Russia. ’Cause you know what they say: It ain’t work if you love what you do!
This morning, Trump flat-out told reporters, quote, ‘I never worked for Russia.’ You know what that means: He’s doing it for free. It’s possible he’s a traitor and a bad negotiator.
Working hard for Russia or hardly working for America?
The New York Times revealed that after Donald Trump fired James Comey in 2017, the F.B.I. opened an inquiry into whether Trump was secretly working on behalf of Russia. I think that’s ridiculous: There’s nothing secret about it.
The Pope dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new quarters which turn out to be a tiny one bedroom apartment.
The Pope is horrified and wants to know why he doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.
Saint Peter informs him that the resident of the penthouse is a lawyer.
"A lawyer," says the Pope...Read more
Ferne Southern said she was staying with her 8-year-old granddaughter, Brooke, while her parents were out of town.
Brooke was delaying bedtime, as usual, so her grandmother told her about counting sheep to fall asleep.
The 8-year-old thought that was a good idea. Everything was quiet for a while. But just as grandmother was dozing off, a voice...Read more
- You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
- You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
- Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
- You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
- You fish in your above-ground pool... and catch something.
- Your beer can ...Read more
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice ...Read more
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."
The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.
"You want me to pick up the...Read more
A pawn shop costumer inquires after supplies for a mysterious and dangerous activity.
Tumblr CEO: No More Porn
Everyone’s fighting. People are exhausted. There’s no end in sight. It’s basically like playing a game of Monopoly with your family.