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Late Night Funny #4'

Humor / Jokes /

In the ’80s, when he was a local assistant district attorney, Moore was banned from an Alabama shopping mall for bothering teenage girls. The only place in the mall the girls were safe was Forever 21, because that is way too old for Roy Moore.

Stephen Colbert

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

President Trump is headed home after his trip to Asia. And I saw that at one point, 2,000 protesters in the Philippines were shouting, ‘Go home!’ While back in America, 60 million people were shouting, ‘Stay there!’”

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Let me break it down like this: The TPP is a lot like T.P., O.K.? I’ll tell you what happened to me with my roommate once: He insisted on buying the [expletive] cheap toilet paper that you could find. I hated it, and I was like, ‘We gotta get rid of the toilet paper.’ So he did, but he didn’t replace it with anything else. And if you don...Read more

Roy Moore Was Banned From A Mall And YMCA

Humor / Jokes /

Alabama senate candidate Roy Moore had to travel out of town if he wanted Sbarro.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

Jeff Sessions testified again as part of the Russia investigation, and at one point he was questioned about his stance on marijuana. Because, you know, it’s a little odd when a guy’s anti-weed but seems to forget every conversation he’s ever had.

Jimmy Fallon

Notes To The Rural Milkman

Humor / Jokes /

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've ...Read more

Cat Poker

Humor / Jokes /

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

Etch-A-Sketch Tech Support

Humor / Jokes /

Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window? A: ...Read more

Finding Her Place

Humor / Jokes /

On her way back from the concession stand, Julie asked a man at the end of the row, "Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?"

Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did."

Julie nodded, and noted, "Oh good. Then this is my row."

Classroom Smarts

Humor / Jokes /

Kids are smarter than they used to be. And they do say the dandiest things! Check out the following wisecracks and wisdom and you be the judge!

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
...Read more

The Last Black Unicorn - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

The last black unicorn (Tiffany Haddish) answers teens' (Beck Bennett, Melissa Villaseñor, Aidy Bryant) questions about the future.

If Moms Gave DVD Commentary (Batman V Superman, Man of Steel)

Humor / Jokes /

Martha Kent and Martha Wayne are so looking forward to hanging out with Martha Aqua and Martha Wonder to discuss the new Justice League movie. Or, maybe they’ll just watch Steel Magnolias.

Late Night Funny #4'

Humor / Jokes /

By now, you’ve probably heard of Alabama senatorial candidate and former judge Roy Moore. Last week, allegations surfaced that when Moore was an assistant district attorney in the 1970s, he had sexual contact with a 14-year-old. Which would be appropriate only if he were a 14-year-old assistant district attorney. You’d think all this would ...Read more

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

During the entire interview Sean Hannity gives Roy Moore so many chances to defend himself, and he just cannot answer a yes-or-no question. ‘O.K., but you never stole a bus full of 16-year-olds and brought them to a secret lair, right?’ ‘Well, it certainly doesn’t sound like something I would do. I mean, I don’t remember being on a bus...Read more

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

It came out that Donald Trump Jr. was in direct contact with WikiLeaks during last year’s election. You can tell that Don Jr.’s in trouble because his dad just demoted him to Eric.

Jimmy Fallon

Kim Jong-Un Hurt President Trump's 'Old' Feelings

Humor / Jokes /

President Trump isn't exactly defusing the threat of nuclear war with North Korea by 'not' calling its leader 'short and fat.'

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

So, Roy Moore defines himself completely by the Bible — except for the parts about ‘Thou shalt not be gross.’

Trevor Noah

What Men Really Mean, part 3

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what...Read more

Tickets

Humor / Jokes /

A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally they reached the ticket window.

"Five ...Read more

Steroids

Humor / Jokes /

Have you been following this steroid scandal? This is first time in baseball history that the players have more additives in them than the hot dogs.

 

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