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Steven Ho Teaches Conan Defense Against Guns & Knives

Humor / Jokes /

Just remember: "Scurry out. That's all you can really do."

Hungry For Power Games: Democratic National Convention Edition

Humor / Jokes /

Julius Flickerman and his pet weasel Caligula are back, descending into the belly of the beast to report from the DNC in Philadelphia.

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

First Lady Michelle Obama spoke tonight on the first day of the Democratic National Convention, while Melania Trump furiously took notes.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

After the Republican Convention last week, the DNC was supposed to be the boring one. It was quite the opposite. Every time Hillary Clinton's name was mentioned there were boos from Bernie Sanders fans. Even Bernie had to ask his supporters to calm down. After a year of telling them not to calm down. It's like Chef Boyardee telling people to ...Read more

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

According to a poll, 90 percent of Bernie Sanders supporters plan to vote for Hillary Clinton in November. The other 10 percent plan to put their hand down the sink and then turn on the disposal.

Conan O'Brien

10th Annual Jimmy Kimmel Live Belly Flop Competition

Humor / Jokes /

We have a cherished tradition at the show. Every year we set up an above-ground swimming pool, pull a group of confused pedestrians off the street, put them in bathing suits and make them compete in a belly flop contest. This year’s celebrity judges include Olympian Lolo Jones, TV/fashion personality EJ Johnson and our own Aunt Chippy.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

We may be seeing more Trumps in politics. In fact, Donald Trump's son, Donald Jr., told CNN he hasn't ruled out running for mayor of New York next year. When she heard that, Hillary Clinton turned to Chelsea and said, "Clear your schedule."

Jimmy Fallon

Undeniable Adult Truths pt. 1

Humor / Jokes /

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you ...Read more

Paying for Twitter

Humor / Jokes /

There’s talk that Mitt Romney’s campaign is paying for Twitter followers. Yes, he’s paying for people to like him. Or, as it’s called politics.

Jimmy Fallon

School Report

Humor / Jokes /

Our 15-year-old daughter, Melanie, had to write a report for school about World War II, specifically D-Day and the invasion of Normandy.

"Isn't there a movie about that?" she asked.

I told her there was, but I couldn't think of the name.

Then it came to her, "Oh, I remember! Isn't it something like 'Finding Private Nemo'?"

Red Lights

Humor / Jokes /

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After...Read more

The Presbyope

Humor / Jokes /

Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to."

Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "...Read more

Steven Ho Teaches Conan Defense Against Guns & Knives

Humor / Jokes /

Just remember: "Scurry out. That's all you can really do."

Family Guy: San Diego Comic-Con 2016

Humor / Jokes /

Take a look at some of the footage shown at San Diego Comic-Con 2016.

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

Following the outrage that Cruz did not endorse Trump last night, Cruz’s wife, Heidi, was escorted from the convention by security as people yelled, "Goldman Sachs!” Careful, Republicans — if you say it three times, Hillary will appear.

Seth Meyers

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

There’s a new weather phenomenon, causing unusually high temperatures, expected to get up to 115 degrees in some states. So, don't go to some of those states. And the fear is that the heat dome will turn into a thunderdome, and we'll have to turn to Mad Max to help us.

Jimmy Kimmel

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Traditionally the third night of the convention is supposed to be all about the VP pick and everyone was saying that the Ted Cruz fiasco overshadowed Trump's VP Mike Pence. Even Trump doesn't seem to like him that much. There was an awkward moment between them at the end of Pence's speech [shows video of air-kiss]. They greeted each other the ...Read more

Girl Expertly Scams Scam Telemarketer

Humor / Jokes /

This girl realized the offer of free government money was too good to be true and decided to have fun with the scammer. We salute you.

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

The Democrats support special labeling for GMO foods. Republicans support teen abstinence programs. So they can compromise, and now, teens have to wear labels telling everyone they're virgins.

Jimmy Fallon

Feeding babies

Humor / Jokes /

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered... what about people who eat with chopsticks -- what do they use? Toothpicks?

 
 

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