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Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

The Hillary team is driving around in a van. Sometimes people get those gag bumper stickers put on their van. Hillary has one on her van, and it says, "If this van's rockin', I'm deleting emails."

David Letterman

Late Night Funny #3

Humor / Jokes /

Hillary is in Iowa to listen to what the people are saying — because if you want her to speak, that will cost you $200,000. So she's there listening.

David Letterman

Late Night Funny #2

Humor / Jokes /

Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, virtually going door to door to every home in Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses finally got fed up and said, "Get lost. Get out of here!"

David Letterman

Late Night Funny #1

Humor / Jokes /

Supermodel Giselle Bundchen is retiring from modeling. You know why? Because she says her body told her to stop. I think that's pretty insightful. I'm retiring because EVERYBODY told me to stop.

David Letterman

The Penny Trick

Humor / Jokes /

My husband and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one evening when we heard sobbing coming from three-year-old Billy's room. Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind.

Desperate to calm him, my ...Read more

Pompous Colonel

Humor / Jokes /

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, ...Read more

Hillbilly computer

Humor / Jokes /

A hillbilly was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12 years he is notified that his Uncle Joe from Chicago has died and left him over $100,000. The hillbilly was so happy when the warden said he would put it in trust untll he was released.

The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying ...Read more

Webbed Out

Humor / Jokes /

Signs that you are Webbed Out...

Your opening line is, "So what's your home page address?"

Your best friend is someone you have never met.

You are overcome with disbelief, anger and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.

You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on puddle, sending your car ...Read more

Break-ups

Humor / Jokes /

By college major...

PSYCHOLOGY
Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.

SOCIOLOGY
Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.

ARCHAEOLOGY
One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.

THEATER
"OH! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"

...Read more

Late Night Funny #4

Humor / Jokes /

According to a new poll, 57 percent of the people believe Hillary Clinton will be the next president. Now 43 percent of the people in that poll believe Hillary Clinton is already president.

David Letterman

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