A new report has found that Donald Trump may have used some of his campaign funds to buy thousands of copies of his own book. Oh my God, that’s what he’s gonna use to build the wall!
At first Donald Trump came out with guns blazing, said he's going to kick all the Mexicans out, he's going to build a wall to keep them from coming back in. Last night during a town hall on Fox News he said he could be softening, which is normal, it happens to a lot of men his age.
NASA announced they have re-established contact with a spacecraft that had been missing for two years. The spacecraft went missing again when it was told who the Republican nominee is.
A curious cat is fishing for trouble.
“Bachelorette” winner Jordan Rodgers has started working as a TV commentator for college football. When asked who he thinks will win a big game, he’s the only analyst who goes, “This is tough, I’m in love with both teams ... I’m gonna have to go with Miami.”
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.
"My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said, "The computer ...Read more
A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem.
The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem."
The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself."
The ...Read more
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."
The friend asks, "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"
In the Shadows of the Oaks: An Urban TaleFrank Settineri
This is a love story between Sean, Landi and Brenda, the latter who were once best friends and now are indelible enemies.
As their relationships spin out of control the surrounding urban community races out of control, besieged by the murder of a black youth by a white policeman, a ...
A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
Priest: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this...Read more
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars all traveling at the same speed; however, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was ...Read more
Donald Trump is accusing Hillary Clinton of being too ill, too frail to be commander in chief. Rudy Giuliani made a suggestion to go online and look up "Hillary Clinton illness" – if it's on the internet, you know it must be true.
The Trump campaign recently announced that Donald Trump will be delaying his major address on immigration that was originally scheduled to take place on Thursday. So if you want to know where Trump stands on immigration, you’ll just have to wait until a year ago.
The GOP has already started making a strategy around the assumption that Hillary Clinton will win the presidency. Which may explain the Republican Party's new slogan: "Winter Is Coming."
Pixar: Short Films #23 "Small Fry" (2011)
Apparently Ryan Lochte lost all four of his endorsement deals in just one day following his Rio robbery scandal. Even Trump was like, “It took me months to do that!”
A "Life and Career" coach met with a prospective client one morning and asked the client what he wanted to get out of their sessions.
"Clarity," the client said very firmly.
"And on what issues are you looking for clarity?" the coach asked.
"Well," he said in a less confident tone, "I'm not sure."
The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.
Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be nor confusing.
So their first ...Read more
An angry motorist went back to a garage where he'd purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier.
"Listen," the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought that battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!"
"Sorry," apologized the garage owner. "I didn't ...Read more