ArcaMax

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.

The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate.

He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the politicians.

A few days later the local sheriff came out, saw the ...Read more

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something ...Read more

* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.

* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

* Pay for your dinner with pennies.

* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

* Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

* Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

* At ...Read more

A judge scowled down at a repeat offender before him. "Haven't I seen you in here many times already? And didn't I tell you that I never wanted to see you in here again?"

"Yes, Your Honor," the defendant replied. "That's exactly what I told the police officer, but he insisted I come in anyway!"

A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them.

Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave."

At 7:00 p.m., the man ...Read more

"Why do you keep reading the Bible everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather.

"Well, it's a bit like cramming for your final exam," said Grandpa.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the mashed carrots.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it ...Read more

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Ivan.

Ivan who?

Ivan new hat, do you like it?

A professor at the Michigan State University was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden lectures.

At the beginning of one semester, an innovative class breathed new life into the course by assigning baseball plays to each hackneyed phrase.

For example, when the professor said, "On the other hand," that counted as a base hit. "By the ...Read more

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet!!!" snapped the officer. "...or I'm going to let you cool off in jail until the chief gets back."

"But officer, I just wanted to say...."

"And I said KEEP QUIET! You're going to jail!" A few ...Read more