Singing the property tax blues?
Tyrades! by Danny Tyree
“With two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard – and THEN they started taxing the cats!” - apologies to Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.
My native Tennessee’s lack of an income tax has long afforded me bragging rights, but today I heard news that brought me down to (increasingly costly) earth.
According to a report by the Beacon Center of Tennessee, the Volunteer State has far outpaced every other state for the highest percentage increase in property taxes over a six-year period.
Sure, there are still 40 states with a “higher effective property tax rate on owner-occupied housing,” and a handful of communities account for a disproportionate proportion of the increase; but the TREND is disheartening, nonetheless.
(It’s inertia. As Sir Isaac Newton observed, “A trend in motion will continue in motion until someone bops a county commissioner in the head with an apple.”)
On the other hand, SOME sort of tax has to pay for all the things we expect in the civilized world of 2026: emergency services, road repair, the public library, a pension and car for the guy who works remotely writing press releases defending the tax increases…
Maybe property tax is the lesser of several evils, but people still struggle to grasp its logic. You try to be nice and improve the neighborhood, so you get hit with a jacked-up appraisal for your efforts? I guess you’re somehow … using more resources. (“Henry Clagwell added a gazebo to his back yard? Whoa! Forget the fire hose! If he ever has a blaze, I’m going the extra mile and putting that sucker out with my bare hands!”)
To some extent, communities are playing “catch up” with long-neglected infrastructure upgrades. (“We knew we needed a new water treatment plant, but we kept holding out hope that the dodo birds would return and mate on that site.”)
Other towns/counties are feverishly constructing schools, utilities and recreational areas to cope with the influx of transplanted East Coast and West Coast folks. (“Transplanted” is an appropriate word because your property tax bill is liable to give you a heart attack.)
And, face it, some pretentious ZIP Codes are just trying to show off for the newcomers by sparing no expense. (“Shucks, our Costco has ALWAYS had caviar and a drink for $1.50.”)
Maybe the “to infinity and beyond” Powers That Be will spring for framed photos of the houses that longtime residents never see because they’re working three full-time jobs to pay taxes!
Honestly, my own tax rate hasn’t risen all that precipitously, knock on wood (That tree? No, it doesn’t go with the property; it’s just passing through), but I do look at matters differently since (a) I inherited my mother’s house and (b) I no longer have a child in the public schools.
Maybe I need to find more ways to get my “money’s worth” out of my payments. (“Sure, assign me a random student and let’s schedule a ‘parent’-teacher meeting during my busiest time of the year. Just as long as we can add jury duty to the mix!”)
We Tennesseans are proud of the state’s natural beauty and cultural landmarks (such as Memphis’s Graceland), but suddenly we’re ALL potentially in Elvis mode. (“Jack McGillicuddy has left the building – and moved into a van down by the river!”)
Our column…is a very, very, very corny column…
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Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”
Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com
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