Has 'dateflation' struck your family?
Tyrades! by Danny Tyree
I really dodged a (metaphorical) bullet during college.
I spent two years hoping to date a certain young lady from my hometown. In anticipation, I kept dutifully adding spare cash to a special envelope I kept in my dresser drawer.
(The envelope was labeled with her initials, plus “F” for “Fund.”)
When I finally gave up on my romantic ambitions, I relocated the money to my everyday wallet. In that Jimmy Carter stagflation era, my vaunted bankroll receded faster than George Custer’s hairline.
Unlike five years later when I was working full-time and met my wife, I was NOT financially ready for dating!
So I feel the pain of the people profiled in the recent USA Today story “Singles get creative to fight pricey date scene.”
(I also feel the pain of my parallel universe doppelganger, who made the mistake of keeping razor blades in the same envelope as the cash. But enough digressions into the Marvel Multiverse…)
Yes, buffeted by rising prices, college debt and shaky job prospects, many singles are either abstaining from the dating scene altogether (“Whoever said a monk can’t have dreadlocks?”) or downsizing their expectations. “Infladating” and “dateflation” are two words coined to describe the New Normal.
Couples are foregoing swanky restaurants and quadruple-digit concert tickets in favor of life’s simpler pleasures, such as picking up seashells or strolling through the park. Where once you might have overheard, “Doesn’t Brad Pitt look awesome on the IMAX screen?,” you’re now more likely to hear, “Doesn’t old man what’s-his-name look natural since the mortician worked on him? Ooo, I might be able to grab you a corsage after all!”)
Even some of the tried-and-true low-cost dating activities are impacted by the current cost-consciousness. (“We can’t shift to the back seat of the car, Tori. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve…rented it to a vacationing family from Switzerland.”)
Daters are learning not to blow their whole budget on an ostentatious first or second date, but to wait until they’ve sized up the seriousness of the relationship. Of course, that can go to extremes. (“Sprinkles on the ice cream? I was sort of saving that for our 50th anniversary bash…”)
People are learning to look beyond grand gestures and tailor-made attire to get a deeper appreciation of each other. (“Judy has a good heart -- and I hope it pumps enough blood to sell so we can spring for the extra-large popcorn.”)
Some men – indoctrinated into the patriarchal tradition of being deep-pocketed enough to splurge on their romantic partner – feel emasculated by the current scrimping and saving. (“Can I at least field-dress the pinata at your nephew’s birthday party, and hang the head over the fireplace? With all the money I’ve lavished on you, you should be willing to put out…a semi-firm handshake.”)
My wife insisted that our first date (at a Bonanza Steakhouse) be “Dutch treat,” but the current version of “going Dutch” is a whole different experience. (“This discount ‘steak product’ is as tough as a wooden shoe!”)
Our son is presently more interested in work and Dungeons & Dragons than dating, but when the love bug DOES bite him, I hope conditions are less austere.
I’d hate for him to say, “See? I told you that it’s stupid to pay for Lazer Tag when you can dodge metaphorical bullets for free! Now, about that second date…hello? Hello?”
-
Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”
Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com
Comments