Got Father’s Day questions for Dad?
Tyrades! by Danny Tyree
“Ask Dad, HE knows!”
That’s the message on the Sweet Caporal cigarette ad hanging in Mr. Gower’s drugstore in the holiday classic “It’s A Wonderful Life,” and children since time immemorial have followed that credo (no matter how many times spoilsport Mom has scolded, “Don’t follow that credo – you don’t know where it has been!”)
True, the frequency and tone of questions may vary with individual family dynamics (touchy-feely?, dysfunctional?, middle-of-the-road?), the onset of teenage angst and divisive “generation gap” issues; but fathers have always been the old-school version of a cutting-edge data center, assuming that data centers use Bud Light for cooling and reserve part of their electricity for a flashing “Licensed to Grill” sign.
From that first unspoken but mutually understood baby query (“Pop, did you really think I could so easily be cajoled into uttering ‘dada’ instead of ‘mama’ first? Talk about dad jokes!”) to the dreaded, gut-wrenching plea “Dad, don’t you think it’s time you surrendered your truck keys – right after you dislodge the Ram from the assisted-living bingo table?,” the questions keep on coming.
Sure, some time-honored questions have become outdated. “Dad, why is the sky blue?” used to be a thing. In the age of synchronized staring down at screens, the more common query is, “Dad, what is this ‘sky’ of which people speak?”
But the probing continues, whether out of curiosity or need or an epiphany about shared values. (“Dad, that ammo you used to scare away my last suitor – do you think the NRA can keep the feds from banning it?”)
Granted, some persistent questions can be annoying (I’m looking at YOU, “Are we there yet?”), but we fathers bask in glory when our years of study and life experience let us dispense practical instructions to our offspring. If you want to know how to change a tire or operate a razor or mend a broken heart or feign a heart attack when asked to help on the feminine hygiene aisle, we’re your “go to” guy.
Admittedly, fathers used to accumulate useful knowledge faster, because a higher percentage of them served in the military, participated in Boy Scouts or grew up learning outdoors skills on the farm. Now Dad thinks to himself, “Wow, I deserve a merit badge for finding an app to help Junior select a YouTube video about unclogging the sink!”
Dads enjoy attentive questions about their own well-behaved childhood, but are equally comfortable speculating on the long-term goals of the family line. (“Dad, if I do everything right, do you think someday my children…or their children’s children…will get to see the final vote tally in California?”)
Dads have finite resources and a mountain of responsibilities, so they must sometimes regretfully answer, “No” when asked about reading the ninth bedtime story or providing a piggyback ride that involves Sheriff Woody spurs or extending curfew or loaning the car.
But other times, they can give a full-throated affirmative answer. (“Dad, did you ever notice that every time you and Mom have an infrequent ‘date night’ scheduled, the babysitter is unable to single-handedly quell my fears about the monsters in my closet?” “Yes! Yes! Yes!”)
Ah, yes, when children and their fathers communicate with love and mutual respect, it’s a wonderful life.
And every time a bell rings, a new pair of black socks is matched with a pair of sandals!
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Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, distributed by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.
Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”
Copyright 2026 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com
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