What would you love to tell your younger self?
“Don’t sweat your scholastic Permanent Record. You can someday obtain a marital Permanent Record, as in ‘You snored just as loudly as you did that Friday in August of 2017.’”
“Abandon your dream of opening the first brick-and-mortar eight-track-tape store on Mars in 2007 and entertaining all the guys and gals. Wrong on so many levels, dude.”
“Don’t make fun of goofy-looking bald people. Never mind why.”
“Roller skating in a buffalo herd? Maybe. Roller skating in the summer of 1990? No way! We’re also running a special on ‘amusing little speed traps in your vicinity.’”
“Don’t remember all the fun in third-period French class. For pity’s sake, don’t remember all the fun in third-period French class!!”
“Embrace change – but not in the creepy way that would get Human Resources involved.”
“Forget sentence diagramming, Chaucer and footnotes. Major in pronouns.”
“Decide when mid-life is, or you’ll miss your mid-life crisis!”
“Venture outside your comfort zone occasionally. Oh, I forgot the Preparation H, dandruff shampoo and taped-up eyeglasses. FIND your comfort zone first and then venture outside of it.”
“Listen more to your sage elders. Then you’ll have a higher caliber of stories for younger generations to ignore.” (“Okay, Boomer-bearing-Greatest-Generation-stories.”)
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