What would you love to tell your younger self?
Tyrades! by Danny Tyree
A handful of longtime readers may remember when I announced that “baby boy Tyree” was on his way.
Time flies. My only child Gideon recently celebrated his 18th birthday.
Ah, 18: an unrefrigerated casserole of freedoms, responsibilities, hopes, fears and life-or-death decisions.
My wife and I have been dribbling out bits of school-of-hard-knocks advice for Gideon all along, so I don’t have any showstopping pronouncements to share with him this week. But I will seize upon Gideon’s milestone as a springboard for one of those corny “What advice would I give my younger self?” essays.
I haven’t accumulated as many regrets as some people (no arrest record, no significant sun damage, no hangovers, no burning bridges without first purchasing a carbon offset, etc.), but I suppose I could list a few thoughts for theoretical sharing with 18-year-old Danny Tyree.
Granted, I would be leery of actually carrying out such a mentorship, given all the paradoxes and potential harm to the space-time continuum.
But if I did do it, my first advice would be, “Don’t use all the paradoxes and potential harm to the space-time continuum as an ice-breaker, unless you enjoy Saturday nights with Lawrence Welk marathons and cold showers.”
Other sadder-but-wiser nuggets:
“Don’t initiate a lifelong habit of carrying a quarter in case you need a pay phone. Do carry a quarter in case you need a thimbleful of gasoline.”
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