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Planning a romantic getaway for Valentine’s Day?

Danny Tyree on

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

I dare you to google news about Valentine’s Day.

Faster than you can say “Romeo and Juliet,” you’ll be inundated with results for “romantic getaways.”

Whether the story is touting a single night on the town or an extended trip, you’ll find an abundance of adjectives such as “adventurous,” “quaint,” “unconventional,” “sun-soaked” and “luxurious.”

With such verbiage, you don’t know whether to expect a king-size bed or a “bed of locally sourced Romaine lettuce cradling a generous serving of succulent, pre-chewed-by-ferrets turnip hearts.”

The headlines presuppose that the entire world has a year’s worth of pent-up demand for a Valentine extravaganza, but not all of us signed off on that memo.

 

Can couples really spring into Valentine mode just because influencers promise “Love is in the air,” when the other 364 days of the year have been characterized by utterances such as “There had better be three cans of Glade in the air before I enter the bathroom”?

We’ve been programmed to believe that Valentine’s Day should be marked with grand romantic gestures such as hot air balloons, mariachi bands, champagne tsunamis and exotic animals bearing engagement rings; but not everyone is into socializing. For many couples, the most romantic gesture is the hand signal to “close the curtains, turn out the lights and pretend we’re not home because I want to finish this ‘Wheel of Time’ novel.”

I know the media tell us that February 14 is the time to dance until the cows come home. But many couples are just as likely to wave a pitchfork at anyone who suggests going out after dark. (“Yeah, I’ll kick up my heels – as long as they land on the ottoman.”)

Multigenerational families have special problems. Seems like only yesterday you were learning to unhook a bra and suddenly you’re overpaying a babysitter so you can go teach your parents to program their Jitterbug phone.

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Copyright 2022 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com

 

 

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