Cousin's Puppy Causes Chaos At Family Party

Harriette Cole on May 25, 2026

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hosted my extended family at my house for a celebration after my daughter's baptism. My cousin recently got a new puppy, and she didn't want to leave him at home for multiple hours, so I said that as long as he could behave, her dog was welcome. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Her dog ended up peeing in the living room multiple times as well as chewing up a couple of pillows. What upset me the most was that several family members seemed to think the behavior was cute or funny while I was stressing about the condition of my home. I had spent days cleaning, decorating and preparing food for this gathering because my daughter's baptism was an important milestone for our family.

The next day, I brought the issue up to my cousin privately because I thought it was fair for her to know how frustrated I was. I expected at least an apology or an offer to replace the damaged pillows, but instead she became defensive and said, "He's just a puppy," and insisted that I was overreacting.

Am I wrong for being upset about this situation? How can I set boundaries with family members without causing unnecessary conflict? -- Undone

DEAR UNDONE: Your mistake was believing a puppy could behave. You should have said no to bringing the puppy or insisted the dog stay in the yard, if you have one. In the future, don't allow family to cross lines that are important to you. Stand your ground.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been away at college for the past couple of years, and I am in my first serious relationship. I really like the guy I'm with, and part of me wonders if it's time to take things to the next level of intimacy. I feel comfortable with him, but I also wonder if I'm curious only because everyone is so active in college.

I wish I had someone older or wiser I could confide in about this, but my mom is extremely strict and religious. That said, she's not really open to talking about the birds and the bees with me -- or anyone, for that matter. Do you think there's a way I could get her to be more open to the conversation? I don't need her to encourage me to do it, but even hearing her opinion about why she thinks I shouldn't would be insightful. Is this all just wishful thinking? -- First Time

DEAR FIRST TIME: If you think you can handle your mother's potential judgment, ask her to tell you her thoughts about sex. Ask her about her own life. See if she will open up about when she first had sex.

If she clams up or starts chastising you about the topic, stop trying to get her to do anything. Look for another person, like an aunt or family friend, with whom you have a close relationship who might be willing to have a confidential conversation with you about what you're going through right now.

Take your time. Make sure you feel loved and honored before you consider being intimate with someone. Consider your body to be sacred, and do not allow anyone inside who doesn't deserve to enter.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)