Ask Amy: Spouse sees the worst, waits for better

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on May 22, 2023

Can you suggest a more polite but just as succinct response?

It would be greatly appreciated by a huge population of appointment schedulers.

– Nothing Sooner in MA

Dear Nothing Sooner: Grrrrr, people! We’re so predictable and so very annoying – especially when we’re not feeling well, are worried about our health, or are flummoxed and frustrated by the complexities of the health care system.

Your job is repetitive, and you are able to predict this somewhat irrational response – and so I suggest that you start each shift by taking a deep breath, reminding yourself that the people who ask, “Nothing sooner?” have no idea that this is the 30th time you’ve heard the phrase today, and that these patients are also customers who are just trying to get through their day and take care of themselves – just like you are.

The answer is to try your hardest to recognize each person as an individual – just as the physician who treats them must do.

The succinct response is for you to say, “I’m sorry, nothing sooner,” or, more helpfully, “We don’t have anything sooner, but should I let you know if we have a cancellation?”

(And I – and scores of readers, will now try harder to curb this reflexive response.)

Dear Amy: I was upset by the question from “Want to Nosh,” the houseguest who didn’t like it that her severely ill friend didn’t provide enough food for her.

Thank you for understanding that people who suffer from food-based or food-borne illnesses can’t always manage others’ dietary needs.

– Been There

Dear Been There: “Want to Nosh” knew of her friend’s illness. She’d had this experience before, but instead of anticipating it and seeing to her own needs for her next visit, she chose to complain about it.

========

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)