Ask Amy: Even with sobriety, alcohol dominates marriage
Your former partner is saying that he feels trapped in the relationship, and that (in his opinion) it would be selfish of you to urge him to stay in a relationship that he no longer wants to be in.
And … he’s right. In that context, pressuring someone to hold on to a relationship can be a selfish act.
This doesn’t mean that you’re a selfish person.
You are on the unfortunate receiving end of a depressed man who might be spiraling. As hurt as you are, it would be kindest to peacefully part and to offer to keep the door open to friendship.
Dear Amy: “Time’s Ticking Away” wanted to lie to and cheat on her long-time partner, and you encouraged her to do that!
I can’t believe you would be so heartless.
— Upset
Dear Upset: I didn’t encourage her to leave; I did encourage her to be honest and to understand the consequences of her choice.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
©2023 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
