Life Advice



Ask Amy: Husband confronts the call of his elder libido

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My wife has advanced dementia.

After four years of being her sole caregiver, I had to place her in assisted living memory care last year.

After five months of psychotherapy and antidepressant medication I’ve finally conquered my deep guilt and sense of having failed her.

Time has shown it was the right thing to do. Our 55-year history together and our four children have faded from her memory.

That is the source of my dilemma. Our high school graduating class has a virtual group on social media.

I wrote about my wife’s dementia and my loneliness without her.


Last week I received an email from a woman with whom I had a lengthy, very steamy, lusty affair in 11th grade, suggesting that we might re-establish our acquaintance. We haven’t communicated since we went our separate ways, many decades ago.

I am sorely tempted to accept her suggestion.

I have a photo of us at our prom, my arm around an exceptionally pretty girl in a strapless gown who liked to make out in secluded places. She played my teenage libido like a yo-yo.

I know it’s a fantasy memory. She’s probably gray, wrinkled, and overweight like me. But still….


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