Ask Amy: Husband confronts the call of his elder libido
As long as you don’t abandon your wife, I don’t view this situation as adultery, but I believe that your emotional needs would best be served by a relationship that is supportive, kind, and careful.
Yes, you absolutely deserve some happiness, but you should be discerning about where you are most likely to find it.
This might be the kind of trouble you long for right now, but keep in mind that any relationship you engage in could have far-reaching consequences for your entire family.
Dear Amy: Some of my loved ones are going through difficult times.
It breaks my heart. I’m helping out financially and being emotionally supportive, but it doesn’t seem enough.
I’m so sad. I’ve heard the term “emotionally detached,” but can’t seem to separate myself from their pain. Now it is affecting my health.
Suggestions?
– JW
Dear JW: One aspect of healthy detachment is the realization that while you can – and should – be supportive and compassionate, you lack the power to change the course of many human events.
Detachment is a humbling surrender to reality, and if you achieve detachment, you will start to love people “through” their painful trials, with no overwhelming attachment to a specific outcome. The frail person may not survive their illness, the house might wind up in foreclosure, or the divorce might happen, despite your efforts.
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