Life Advice



Ask Amy: ‘Bestie’ worries about her role in friend’s affair

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My best friend of 25 years is having an affair.

I’m devastated. We raised our kids together, our families spent holidays and vacations together, but most of all she has been my soul sister and confidant.

I have tried to be the best support since this began, listening and trying to be non-judgmental.

The problem is that my dad cheated on my mom. The day I found out was the worst day of my life. I spent years angry, developed a severe eating disorder, and needed years of therapy.

I feel like I'm waiting for a car crash. I love her children like my own and don't want them to go through that trauma.

What's my job as a best friend? Must I show my support, no matter what?


I have lost respect and feel like it's changed everything. Am I being judgmental and not a true friend?

I want this friendship to weather this storm, but need advice on this “besties” role.

– Friend in Anguish

Dear Friend: Friends tell each other the truth, and a deep and abiding friendship can withstand the tumult that honesty sometimes brings on.


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