Ask Amy: Couple’s age differential brings on questions

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Oct 12, 2021

I have, however, asked a dozen or so close friends for suggestions.

One mentioned putting a rose where my late wife would be sitting. That seems very subtle.

What do you think?

– Wondering Father-of-the-Groom

Dear Wondering: As you all get closer to the date, you should raise this idea with the couple. They may be avoiding this question in the mistaken belief that including a symbol devoted to your late-wife during the wedding would make people sad on what should otherwise be a happy occasion – but I agree with you that symbols representing a beloved family member serve as reminders that weddings are family-building events.

I like the idea of you and your sons perhaps wearing a special flower on your lapels as a way to keep their mother’s memory close to you all during the day. There might be an item your late-wife owned – a piece of jewelry, perhaps – that you could offer as a gift to the bride.

You will also want to mention your late wife in your toast and ask the assembled guests to raise a glass in her memory. Remind them to do so — with joy.

Dear Amy: I could not believe your disgusting response to “Guilty Bystander,” who thought it was her duty to report a rumor that a high school teacher had slept with one of his students.

Maybe someone should accuse you of reprehensible behavior – and see how much you like having to prove your innocence.

– Disgusted

Dear Disgusted: I agree that this presents a true ethical dilemma, which is why “Guilty Bystander” wrote to me in the first place.

And yes, if I were accused of a serious crime, I would expect an investigation.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)