Ask Amy: Hopeful bride wonders about ‘shacking up’
Should I sacrifice my wants to appease him since suddenly he doesn’t believe in marriage — or am I justified in requiring more than shacking up in order to move forward?
— No Wedding Bells for Me?
Dear No Bells: I wish we could retire the phrase “shacking up.” It is a pejorative and dismissive phrase used to belittle people who choose to live together.
But since you’ve introduced it, I would counsel you to take full responsibility for your own choice to cohabit with someone without knowing him very well.
If you don’t want to live with someone without being married, then you should conduct your next relationship differently.
The good news is that — after more than two years — you and your guy are finally communicating in a very real way about your values.
In your own narrative, you supply ample justification for you to leave the relationship.
Your guy’s choice to use your own past against you is passive aggressive and disrespectful. Your marriage and subsequent divorce left a bad taste in his mouth? Yuck.
And … he’s dangling the possibility of marriage by telling you what song he’s going to sing as you walk down the aisle?
Researching your question, I have watched a number of videos of grooms singing their brides down the aisle. (Homework, people!)
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