Ask Amy: Angry granny needs more balance
What do you make of this?
– Proud Grampa
Dear Proud: You don’t say that your wife was an obsessive or overwhelming parent to your daughter when she was young, so I’m assuming that this is new for her.
I agree with her that “you don’t love your grandson the way she does,” but in my opinion, loving the way she loves is not the healthy or balanced standard for a grandparent relationship.
Her demands and possessiveness regarding this baby seem less about love and more about control.
Her expectations, as well as her overly emotional response when she is disappointed, show a lack of perspective and are not respectful of this child’s actual parents.
Unless your wife adopts a more balanced attitude, she could end up creating a highly charged and toxic dynamic that will damage her relationships — and will NOT be good for your grandson.
Once he reaches toddler stage, he might instinctively back away from such an overwhelming presence.
You sound like a very understanding and patient person, but I believe that your wife could use some professional help to recognize and learn to regulate her own emotions. I hope you will encourage her to see a counselor.
Dear Amy: You’ve printed letters from people who were parented by a sperm donor, and due to DNA testing are now able to find their biological “father” and other DNA relatives.