Ask Amy: Risky roommate dynamic needs to change
Dear Amy: My roommate “Bart” and I are mostly on great terms with one another, but a few times a month, he and I go through a frustrating routine.
It usually starts with me casually expressing my opinion on something, during the course of an otherwise normal conversation.
If he disagrees, he gets angry and curses at me. I ask him if we can talk about it, and then he storms off, doesn't talk to me for days, and then, when he’s ready, he’ll start talking to me again.
I'm enabling his behavior by dropping the subject and letting him think it's OK if he mistreats me in this way.
I think I do this because I want the whole thing to blow over and am just so done with his tantrums, but now I think I need to take action because it keeps happening.
Recently, he came into my room just to chit chat like we usually do. Then suddenly he gave his unsolicited opinion on my close relationship with a friend.
His attitude was critical and prying. He said he thought it was “fishy” that I hung out with my friend in my room with the door closed.
I felt this was very rude (and odd) of him to bring this up.
I calmly told him it wasn’t his place to judge, and that I did not ask his opinion of our relationship.
He walked out of my room cursing me, telling me to shut up, and to never ask him for anything ever again. He then left a book I had given him in front of my door.