Life Advice



Ask Amy: Handsy hubby should revise technique

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

By the time I'm done dealing with my little ones and their constant need for mommy and then my husband acting like a grabby teen, I want to just shut down. His methods are just not a turn-on for me anymore.

I want him to be more mature and respectful in his approach.

I'd like to sit down and tell him how I really feel, but I don't want to embarrass him and make him insecure.

What should I do?

– Pawed

Dear Pawed: There is nothing wrong with you.


Your husband plays out a particular script when he wants to initiate sex with you. He will continue to do what he always does, because he has no idea of how it makes you feel, and what a turn-off it is for you.

So what do you think your loving husband would prefer: to unwittingly humiliate and disgust you with vulgarities and breast-grabbing in the name of foreplay and have you grow so turned off that your built-up resentment deepens a fault line between you – or to talk about it, risking some momentary discomfort?

Sex is all about communication, and right now you two are on vastly different pages. You have as much a right to express your desires as he does!

It’s natural – and healthy – to switch things up as the circumstances of your life change. In a quiet moment, sit down and talk to him, before you erupt in the moment and react in a way that would genuinely embarrass him.


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