Ask Amy: Mother needs a border wall
Dear Amy: My 14-year-old daughter, “Carrie,” has been in both inpatient and outpatient care for years for mood disorders, anxiety, depression, and self-harm.
She also struggles with a binge-eating disorder and has become quite overweight. She is under the care of a pediatrician, pediatric psychiatrist and therapist. She is getting great care, but treating an eating disorder associated with mental-health issues is extremely challenging.
My mother is a major stressor. She takes every opportunity she can to talk to me about my daughter's weight, how it negatively affects her life, ruins her health, etc. She also constantly asks me what I'm "going to do about it" and when I will "get her into a program.”
My mother's obsession with my daughter's weight has become so overwhelming that I try not to be alone with her or talk too long on the phone with her.
I have explained to my mother time and again that I take advice from experts who are managing her care, but that doesn't seem to matter to her.
My mother also continuously shares her negative viewpoints about my daughter's makeup, hair, and clothing choices.
I know she cares about Carrie, but I really need to set some boundaries. I am genuinely starting to dislike my mother. She is extremely invasive and is wearing me down.
I wish she would find a therapist instead of me to talk to about this.
What would you advise?
Exhausted Mom
...continued
