Gift ideas when kids already have too much
Dear Amy: My brother and his wife, who live in a distant town, are hoarders. They're not the gross kind that you see on television, but just an out-of-control lack of organization comprised of laundry, papers, and mostly -- TOYS.
My nephews, who are preadolescents, have no interest in the hundreds of toys that clutter the living room, dining room and toy room. If they are not at an organized sports event, they are staring at their phone or tablet.
Along every wall of the house are stacked boxes of barely opened and unopened Christmas and birthday gifts. They have both outgrown the 50 or so large toy trucks that remain permanently in the living room under the Steinway grand piano.
I cannot bear the thought of adding anything more to this clutter, and besides, whatever I got for them for Christmas would be summarily dismissed, based on recent history. Don't suggest getting a book, because their shelves are groaning under the weight, plus they don't touch cellulose-based media. Gift certificates would go unused. They only eat a limited array of bland foods, so I can't cook for them or send them treats. I can't be there with them to do things, because they live 800 miles away, limiting interactions to twice a year.
Are they too young to just say, "No more Christmas or birthday gifts?"
They are the only child relatives in my life.
-- Wondering Relative
Dear Wondering: Before declaring "no more gifts" to these younger boys, perhaps you could find ways to recognize these occasions and milestones through your financial generosity. Look into opening "custodial accounts" for them and let them know that each birthday you will deposit a set amount into these accounts, perhaps equaling $10 for each year of their lives, or whatever equivalent you could afford which might correspond with what you would spend on material gifts.
You could then tell them you will release their funds on or around their 18th birthdays. They should be allowed some access to see how their accounts are growing, even if they can't withdraw funds.
It's important to keep in touch with these boys, through social media, sending them cards and letters, and just generally expressing an interest in their lives.
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