The cheating is over, but the hurting continues
Dear Amy: My wife and I were in a relationship before we got married. At that time, she cheated on me.
Only those people who have had a spouse cheat on them will understand how I felt at that time. It was the most painful time of my life. She confessed right after that happened, said she'd made a mistake, and that she was sorry.
We worked things out and got married a couple of years later.
During our marriage, this cheating incident has come up a few times, (not a lot) until recently.
While my wife is at work I sit home and for some reason this cheating thing pops up in my mind. I try not to think about it, but I can't help it.
During the day I become consumed with the thought of what happened that night.
This is bothering me to the point of where I become physically sick.
I have no idea what to do or where to turn. I have talked about this to my wife, and she is willing to do anything she can to help me get over this. Our marriage is very good but I just cannot get past this thing that happened many years ago. If you can give me any tips or ideas to get over this, I'm willing to try anything.
-- Stuck in the Past
Dear Stuck: You don't say why you are home during the day while your wife is out at work, but I'm going to assume that you are either unemployed or that you are a stay-at-home parent; either possibility is stressful for you, and my theory is that this stress has triggered a cycle of rumination about this long-ago event.
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