ArcaMax

Help!

-- Social Worker

Dear Social Worker: It's not obvious (to me) that "Jake" is posing as a social worker -- only that he is attending professional events, presumably to network. If it is obvious -- to you -- that he is misrepresenting himself, then you should definitely do something about it. While he might be lying by omission (allowing people to believe that he is still licensed), presumably if he were being considered for a new job, or being brought off suspension for a related job, his professional issues would surface.

If you are aware of a professional and ethical reason to out him to colleagues, then you should. You should also be honest with him regarding your opinion about his professional behavior.

You don't need to give up a longstanding friendship over this. You should assume that your friend will support her husband's version of events. That's what spouses try mightily to do. However, she should not insist that you buy her husband's line.

If she prompts you, you can state: "I've shared my concerns about this with Jake." Otherwise, you can decline to discuss it.

Dear Amy: I need some relationship advice.

A girl I've known for two years now and have developed feelings for ended things with her boyfriend.

Unfortunately, in an effort to get over her, just before I became aware of her breakup, I asked her to set me up with her friend.

I've revealed my feelings for her, and today I repeated these feelings.

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