Sisters ponder forcing elderly mother to move
This was in a professional setting and I was embarrassed by it.
My family thinks I should just deal with it, and accept unsolicited hugs.
What do you think?
-- Non-Hugger
Dear Non-Hugger: Like you, I don't enjoy unsolicited hugs. Many a time, I have poked someone in the solar plexus as I attempted to shake hands, while they zoomed in for a landing, arms outstretched.
The problem is that when it comes to close personal contact, the more physically assertive person wins the encounter, and hugs tend to trump handshakes.
If you are dealing with someone you see regularly who always greets with a hug, you should pre-empt this and tell them, "I'm not much for hugging. Do you mind if we shake hands instead?"
Readers may help with this; I'll run responses in future columns.
Dear Amy: You were noncommittal in your response to the wife who signed her question "Want to Argue Well." She wondered if it made sense to send her husband a letter outlining her grievances, rather than to verbalize them.
My spouse and I have done exactly this, very effectively.
In fact, the act of writing out our thoughts has helped to solve arguments before they started.
-- Put a Stamp on It
Dear Stamp: Several readers responded that letters are the best way to argue.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
