Sisters ponder forcing elderly mother to move
Dear Unsure: I'm trying to picture what "forcing" your mother to move would be like. You need to understand that she has rights, including the right to stay where she is, living an unhealthy and potentially dangerous lifestyle.
So no, you cannot force your mother to move.
This process is one of asking questions, listening to the answers, trying to decode your mother's wants versus her fears, setting realistic boundaries in terms of what you can do for her, and working with her to find temporary solutions for her varying needs.
You could start this process by asking her to visit assisted living places with you. The director of your nearby facility can give her a tour and point out aspects of the community that might appeal to her.
Convey to her that if she makes this choice now, she will be in charge of her decision; if she suffers an injury in her home and is hospitalized, she may lose the ability to choose where to live.
You should contact Meals on Wheels to see if she can receive regular meal delivery at her home. Agencies can provide in-home visits and care, including light cleaning, meal preparation, bathing assistance, and driving her to appointments.
Those of us who have been through this process with loved ones learn (often the hard way), that this can be a chaotic and painful time of life, full of challenging transitions. Asking an elderly person to leave her home is not as simple as demanding that she make choices to make her life safer and your life easier.
Dear Amy: Is there a polite way for "non-huggers" to let "huggers" know they don't like being hugged?
I usually have my hand extended when greeting someone, to make my choice clear.
This doesn't always work, however. Last week, I was greeted by a member of the opposite sex with their arms wide open, so I accepted the hug.
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